Rhyming with Permissions

January 24, 2011

Rhyming with Permissions

Here’s a rhyme about Permissions,
They’re boring and tedious and come with conditions,
So here is a list of what to do,
(Lucky for you, I made it rhyme too)
First you get that dreaded letter;
“Dear Sir or madam, Can I use this uh err…
Poem, I think, from Glimpses of Glory,
I want to use it in my children’s story”
You check Bradbury Phillips, that wonderful thing,
To see the title’s contractual thing,
Number – that’s it – then look it up,
You better be wary of harsh paper cuts!
Ok, fine we own the rights,
But this Mr. Smith is rather facts-light,
So you hum and you haw and put it off,
And one month later you’ve had enough,
And you have to write (without much pleasure)
A response to this stupid Permissions letter;
“Dear Mr. Smith, I cannot process this request,
The information you gave is a bit of a mess
I need the page number, the amount of words used”
And so it re-joins the Permissions queue.
Ten seconds later, Mr. Smith replies,
“The poem I want is on page 45”
So you get up and head for the stacks,
To pick up the book and check these facts,
Right, and now another letter;
“Dear Mr. Smith, that was much better.
You can use this poem, for a fee –
Twenty-five pounds with VAT”
“Pounds eh? Not Dollars? I’m in the US”
(Oh Mr. Smith, you are a pest)
“Talk to Morehouse – they’ve got those rights”
And with that I’ll call it a night.

*A Rights department database, sometimes Excel sheet.

Glimpses of Glory by David Adam (SPCK, 2000)


December 9, 2010

Oh Tannenbaum!

If you saw in real life, I’m sure you’d agree,
That this plastic green thing is a dull sort of tree.
It has no lights and the branches look bare,
And because of this, I began to despair,
“Oh where’s the tinsel? The chinsey baubles?
“This tree of mine looks truly awful!”
But not to be defeated by this bit of plastic,
I decorate it in a way that’s Sophie fantastic!
I gather old business cards, red pens and highlighters,
Assorted coloured post-it notes – to make my plan brighter,
I cut and I snip and then start to colour,
I connect paperclips all on one another,
And after no time at all I have a pile,
Of paper baubles that make me smile.
I bend some paperclips all out of shape,
To make an “S” to I can hook and drape,
My recycled décor on to the branches,
And I’m sure you’ll agree, it really enhances,
The Christmas feeling on my desk,
As opposed to it’s usual mess!